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FriJun 11th
Tom…had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it – namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.
— Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
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ThuMay 20th
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TueApr 6th
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ThuMar 25th
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TueNov 10th

1) make a fist with your left hand, with your left thumb inside, 2) squeeze your thumb as hard as you can, 3) put your right index finger down your throat. your gag reflex is gone.

ummmmm….uhhhhhhh….whoa…

(via-notyourbandwagon:nothingbuttime:ohshiii:ache:stephill:carinaavila:themattsmith:biteofpythias:rainbaby:bellicosity:kissyourbones:brookelipinski:christorres:franceshasasoul:heygloria:autumnlynnstheantagonist:donkadonk:kame-hame-ha:kayleethelady:setthestage:echeverria)

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MonNov 9th
flowchart - should you comment on this facebook status update?

(via 200motels, merilanie-jae)
flowchart - should you comment on this facebook status update?

(via 200motels, merilanie-jae)

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ThuOct 15th

My Mom is a FOB [mymomisafob.com]

  • *eating dinner*
  • Sister : Gloria, did you want some fish?
  • me : No thanks, I don’t like this type of fish… it has the weird black gooey skin with it.
  • Sister : really? It’s really good for you, it’s cod fish.
  • Me: errr no thanks…
  • Mom : WHAT? YOU DONT LIKE BLACK COCK?
  • *sister and I started laughing like crazy*
  • Mom: What’s so funny? Nobody likes black cock?
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My Mom is a FOB [mymomisafob.com]

  • Mom: Hey, when are you having kids?
  • Me: What? Why?
  • Mom: You need to have a plan! When a machine gets too old they don’t bear good fruit.
  • Me: Mom, machines don’t bear fruit.
  • Mom: And make sure you have smart kids. If they’re dumb, I’ll put them in recycling bin.
  • Me: …what are they going to recycle as?
  • Mom: I don’t know. Homeless.
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WedOct 14th
If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
— Abraham Maslow
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TueSep 1st
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TueAug 18th
ZOMFG…so busted! ha! ‘prehistoric emo’ from yourscenesucks.com

ZOMFG…so busted! ha! ‘prehistoric emo’ from yourscenesucks.com

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brain Is a co-conspirator in a vicious stress loop - NYTimes.com

brain Is a co-conspirator in a vicious stress loop - NYTimes.com

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ThuAug 13th

Group Bragging Often Signals Low Social Status

(via fuckyeahfacts)

Groups that engage in excessive displays of collective pride could be trying to mask insecurities about their low social status.

This conclusion comes from data collected by UC Davis associate professor Cynthia Pickett, one of the few researchers who studies collective pride. Pickett examined social groupings such as partisans at a political rally and fans at football games and found that groups that engage in hubristic and pompous displays of pride — and denigrate outsiders — are often of low social status.

On the other hand, groups of high social standing tend to express pride by humbly focusing on their own members’ efforts and hard work.
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WedAug 5th

In order to deter flies from landing on him, Pepi II of Egypt always kept several naked slaves nearby whose bodies were smeared with honey.

(via fuckyeahfacts, link to source) OMG, what. a. dick.

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SunAug 2nd

texts from last night

  • (209): do you want me to make hamburgers?
  • (541): i’m vegan
  • (209): i’ll put lettuce on them
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